Xylophonetics

Tomorrow’s my first “big” conference.

AKA - networking and peacocking for academics.

I’m nervous because a lot of the other grad students have already been to these things, know how to act and what to talk about and I tend to be extremely awkward and kind of loosey goosey when I talk to people and just ramble about my dogs, the weather and how much fun cooking is because I come off as a little “intense” when I talk about politics and current events, I’ve been told.

I’m also coming home early instead of going to the optional bar meet up because I want to re-edit this paper and watch Mirrormask to see if there’s anything I can rework to make my point better. I’m worried that that’s going to be where the majority of networking is going to happen and I’ll miss out but I honestly can’t risk drinking tonight when I have to be on campus at 7 AM.

Kyle says I’ll be fine, my dad says I’ll be fine, fuck, even Neil Gaiman, the subject of my paper, says I’m going to be fine but my anxiety from when I was a teenager has come back in full force for some reason. And this lack of sleep I’ve been getting due to stress hasn’t helped.

Blegh.